These days most women want orgasms. That was not always the case. A couple of generations or so ago, many adult females simply did not have climaxes and a lot of them were not bothered about it. Probably a lot of them did not actually know what an orgasm was. These days, medical opinion is that every woman should be able to have orgasms, if she wants to. Furthermore, the view of most sex experts is that the majority of women are capable of multiple orgasms, if they wish to have them. In general, the ability to have multiple orgasms is greater in more mature women.


We are writing this explanation in the assumption that you, the reader are male. But what follows will be of interest to a lot of female readers too.

What happens in a womans body during a climax is very like what happens in your (male) body when you ejaculate. In other words, there is a feeling of increasing excitement, building up to a point where everything blows in a great blast of ecstasy.

Men are well aware that these throbs of pleasure are accompanied by the pumping out of spurts of seminal fluid. Obviously this does not happen in women.

A few females do produce some fluid at orgasm, but the impression given in so many erotic stories that most women Ejaculate is not correct. Only a minority of females do this.


The other big difference between male and female orgasm is this: after the first climax, many women can come again, often within a minute or two.

This ability is extremely rare in males. Relatively few young women can achieve multiple orgasm, because it is an ability that usually has to be learned. But with the help of a skilled lover, most women can eventually achieve the capacity for multiple orgasms – if they so desire.


For men perhaps the most important thing to realise about female climaxes is that with women, it´s not a mechanical thing as it generally is with men. You see, most males will ejaculate quite quickly if they have their penises rubbed. This applies even if the circumstances aren’t very romantic – or even if they don´t particularly like the person who´s doing the rubbing, Women are not like this. Female orgasm isn´t a push-button response. The conditions have to be right.

Although females vary, many women need the following if they´re going to reach a climax easily :

  • a romantic atmosphere
  • pleasant, comfortable surroundings
  • a partner who they really like
  • a feeling of being wanted and appreciated
  • a good flow of natural lubrication – so that the delicate female parts don´t get sore
  • a skilled partner who knows how to stimulate the clitoris.

Unless you can provide the above, you are not going to have great success in giving your partner orgasms.

Please bear in mind that contrary to what many men think sexual intercourse by itself is not likely to produce an orgasm. This is because intercourse alone is not very good at stimulating the woman´s clitoris. Nearly all females need additional stimulation of the clitoris by fingers or mouth.

Many women like much more foreplay or love play than men imagine. They want to feel that the man is keen on giving pleasure and not just in a hurry to have his own climax. In fact, the worst thing a man can say to a woman is Haven´t you come yet? This is likely to make her feel extremely inadequate and will ruin any build-up of sexual pleasure and tension that might have been taking place.

What to do

In summary, here´s what to do if you want to bring your partner to orgasm regularly :

1. Don´t be in a rush.
2. Don´t be too demanding – it´s not an Olympic event.
3. Talk to your partner, and ask her what she wants you to do to her.
4. Always create a romantic atmosphere.
5. Make sure that everything is comfortable and nice for her.
6. Give her lots of kisses and cuddles before you even think about making any approach to her sexual area.
7. When you do start to stroke, rub or kiss her genitals, don´t rush into attacking her clitoris. Take things gently, and see what she wants.
8. Use her own natural lubrication to moisten her clitoris. (If she is over 40, it may be a good idea to use some additional lubrication).
9. Remember that stimulation of the clitoris is the key to female orgasm.
10. Sometimes encourage her to run your sex sessions. You can learn a lot by watching how she stimulates herself or by really listening to her when she suggests a sex position, or a particular caress.

Sexual Problems : Whether they manifest as physical or emotional can detract from the sexual experience and create tension between couples. We will help you open the door to a more satisfying sex life, by providing a safe space to help you to solve sexual problems.